Mario and I met at KPMG 26 years ago when we worked in the same department. When he moved on, our friendship travelled right along with him, and years later our paths crossed again at the City of Toronto, where I had the privilege of being on his team for a short time. Mario brings such care and commitment to everything he does, including his friendships.
I met Dev 12 years ago when I heard him speak at a Project Management Institute event. I was so impressed that I walked up to him during a break and asked if he would be my career coach. Thankfully, he said yes, and he has helped me navigate so many of the twists and turns of my career since then. Over the years, my wise career coach with the beautiful, caring heart also became a dear friend, and we eventually had the opportunity to work together at the City as well.
And that's where I met Nannini 7 years ago. I have always loved her creativity, innovative spirit and the energy she brings to everything she does. Our career paths eventually took us in different directions, and then, in one of those magical ways that life sometimes brings people back to us, Nannini became the project coordinator for Lonny's Smile. Today, we get to work together in a completely different way, helping to send children with special hearts to camp.
One connection led to another, and then another, and somehow all these years later the four of us were sitting around the same table.
At some point during dinner, without any planning or prompting, we started going around the table and telling each other what we valued about one another. We talked about our relationships with each other, what we had learned from one another, how we had grown because of knowing each other, the qualities we admired, and what each person had brought into our lives.
I've never experienced anything quite like it. For that little stretch of time, it felt like we were sitting in this beautiful bubble of gratitude, and it was pretty magical.
Mario said afterward, "Rare is it to find an entire group of authentic, honest, and caring humans." I couldn't agree more, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have found these humans.
What made the experience even more meaningful was that there was absolutely no occasion for any of it. Nobody was retiring or leaving, and it wasn't someone's birthday or a milestone celebration. We were simply four friends having dinner, and somehow we ended up giving each other the gift of hearing, out loud, what we so often leave unsaid.
We tell other people how wonderful someone is. We write it in birthday cards and retirement messages, and we stand up at weddings and milestone celebrations and talk about what someone has brought into our lives. Sometimes, sadly, we don't fully express someone's impact until they are no longer here to hear it.
This night was different because we each had the opportunity to hear those words for ourselves. I got to tell three people I love and admire what they have brought into my life, and I got to listen while they told me what I had brought into theirs. I also had the privilege of listening as they did the same for each other.
There is something incredibly powerful about not only feeling grateful for someone, but giving them the gift of knowing exactly why.
Part of what made the evening even more special was realizing how unlikely it was that the four of us ever ended up around the same table in the first place. Our connections began through a job at KPMG 26 years ago, a chance encounter at a PMI event, an IT team at the City of Toronto and, eventually, a charity created in memory of my brother.
Jobs changed, careers took turns and people moved on, but somehow the relationships travelled with us.
When I look back at all the twists and turns of my career, some of the most precious things I've carried with me aren't the titles, accomplishments or things that appear on my resume. They're the people I've met along the way - the ones who cheer us on when something wonderful happens, stand beside us when life gets hard, tell us the truth, believe in us, challenge us, make us laugh, help us grow, and pick up the phone when we need them.
Those are my ride-or-die people, and I know that when we're fortunate enough to find relationships like these, we need to hang on tight, nurture them, and never take them for granted.
But that night showed me there is another way we can honour those relationships, and that is to let the people we love hear the impact they've had on our lives while they're here to receive it. We don't need to wait for a retirement, a birthday, a milestone or some other occasion that gives us permission to say what we've been carrying around inside us.
So perhaps there is someone in your life who has believed in you, taught you something, supported you, challenged you, cheered you on, helped you become more of who you are, or simply stayed through the many chapters of your life.
Tell them what you see in them, what you've learned from them, how knowing them has changed you, and why they matter to you.
Give them the gift of hearing it, simply because it's true.
With a full heart,
Tamara
